Throughout the Ages
by jessica.k.peck.9
Summary: *Spoilers!* After Gwens death Merlin starts to write a journal. This is my take on what Merlin did for the 1500 years between Arthurs death and the final scene of 5th series. Read journal entries by Merlin as he lives through the ages. In story structure (Start, middle, end)! Sometimes NOT entries! Warning: First chapter might make you cry! Keep reading tho, it improves!
1. Gwen

Her dry wrinkled hand rested in his palm. Her grip was relaxed, her fingers curled slightly inwards. He traced the creases in her palm with a finger of his opposite hand, his eyes transfixed on the hills and valley's.

"Merlin," the whisper was barely audible. Reluctantly, Merlin lifted his gaze from her palm and looked into Gwen's chocolate brown eyes. "Merlin, don't be sad. I'm old, it's time I joined Arthur,"

Merlin could feel the tears threatening and fought to keep them back. His bottom lip trembled and he turned his face away quickly to rub his eyes. "I don't want you to leave me," he managed to choke out.

"Oh, Merlin," Gwen's hand reached out and touched his face briefly before dropping back on the quilt, too weak to even manage that. She lay on her and Arthur's bed, the blankets pulled up over her chest and her head resting on the plush pillows. Merlin sat on the edge of the bed, his hand in her's. His shoulders were tense but had relaxed slightly when she had touched his face. Taking a deep breath he looked back into her eyes. They were dull and tried. Wrinkles covered her face and her hair hanging around her shoulders was an amazing grey colour streaked with white.

Merlin put his free hand up to his smooth face and felt a pang in his heart. He had hardly aged since Arthur died. He couldn't help thinking that he should join his friend aswell. His magic had kept him young, to wait for the day Arthur returned to this world. Merlin hoped it wouldn't be too long.

"You shouldn't worry, Merlin," Gwen's voice brought him out of his thoughts and he refocused on her face. Her lips were turned up at the corners but her eyes were sad. Merlin took a minute before he realised she was sad for him. Then her words sank in and he chuckled.

"I shouldn't worry about living forever?" Then his smile vanished and he said, "Forever is... well, _forever," _His eyes widened at the prospect.

Gwen frowned, "I thought you said...?" then her frown cleared as she saw the slight smile on Merlin's lips. "Merlin," she complained in a teasing tone. She tightened her grip slightly in Merlin's hand and he responded with a squeeze. She sighed quietly and her eyelids drooped. "I'm so tired,"

Merlin watched her for a minute before saying, "You get some rest,"

She flicked her eyes open and gazed into Merlin eyes, "You're like a brother to me, Merlin, I love you like one too,"

"And I love you like a sister," Gwen's eyes brightened then and she squeezed his hand back. Her eyelids slowly drooped again before closing completely. Her breath slowed and deepened as she dropped into sleep.

Merlin stayed at her side, watching her face and tracing circles in her palm. His thoughts wandered, stretching back over the years to the day he returned after sending Arthur's body into the Lake of Avalon.

_His horse trotted into the courtyard, another horse - Arthur's - trotted behind, pulled along with it reins tied tightly on Merlin's saddle. The courtyard itself was quiet. Eye's peered out of corners and bodies stood silently under arches. Merlin could feel every gaze on him and the unoccupied horse. Somehow he managed to hold back his tears and slide off his horse. He gave the reins to a stable boy, who locked eye's with Merlin's for a second before he turned away, leading the horse's and wiping a tear from the corner's of his eyes. _

_Merlin turned and made his way to the stone steps. His spine crawled, he could almost feel the eyes on him. Just as he reached the bottom step, the grand wooden doors burst open and a figure ran out. The figure had long curly hair that whirled about her head and wide eye's that locked with Merlin's. She stopped as she saw him and the last sliver of hope that refused to leave, vanished immediately. Arthur had not come home. _

_Gwen clamped her hand on her mouth and her eye's brimmed with tears. Merlin ran up the steps to her but stopped just below the top. He felt his own eye's fill again and struggled to keep it back. "Gwen," he began, "I'm so sorry. I tried -"_

_He was cut short as she threw her arms around his shoulders. Sobbing openingly now, she mumbled into his neck, telling him it was alright and not to blame himself. Almost against his will, Merlin tightened his arms around her waist and hugged her back. His own tears flowed silently down his cheeks. _

_Behind them the courtyard shifted as people began to move again. Men and women - guards, servants and civilians all began to shout in shock and grief as the news sank in. They didn't need to be told, they knew the King was dead. _

Merlin listened to Gwen's breathing. It was shallow now, more difficult. As a physician, Merlin knew that it wouldn't be long now. He stilled the hand that was tracing the circles and lay it flat over her palm. She was the last of his friends to die. All the Knights, Gaius and his Mother had died long ago.

She stopped breathing.

Merlin had to fight back his panic as she breathed her last. He was alone.

* * *

Later on, Merlin wandered the empty halls and corridors of the citadel. His young face was streaked with tears and his chest felt heavy, yet empty.

He found himself in the physician chambers without remembering how he got there. He brushed his fingers along the wooden benches and shifted the bottles of liquids around the room. Picking them up and putting them down in random places. Finally he stopped at a book shelf. Scrolls of parchment were bunched together in a corner of the shelf. Many were blank, waiting for the words that would cover their surface. He reached out and took one, sliding it out gently yet he still managed to drop half of them on the floor.

Sighing, Merlin stared at the parchment, wondering if he should pick them up. Finally he decided not to and walked towards the desk. Sitting down, he lit a candle with a flash of gold and pulled the ink and quill towards him. He dipped the quill in the ink and let his hand hover over the parchment.

Then slowly, he began to write.

* * *

**AN: ****Hello! **

**This is my prequel to The End of Ages. If you're looking at this, you will probably be interested in the sequel! :) I will like to thank you in advance for this interest - Thanks!**

**Although this is a completed story, I still love reading reviews on it! So any reviews will be greatly appreciated. :D **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin, just this plot! **


	2. Brunanburh

Battle of Brunanburh

15th of October 937

_Today has been exhausting. I've lost count of the wounds I've tended and the faces I've seen. I can't remember when I last ate or slept. I shouldn't really be writing this but I need to. Just to sort out everything in my head. _

_King Æthelweard has won the Battle. It lasted for three days. Eventually King Olaf, King Constantine and King Owen were defeated. There has been some rumours that they're all dead, even Constantine's son. _

_I can still smell the Battle field even though I'm almost a mile away from it. No-one has attempted to move the bodies yet. After the Battle, that night, we all heard the wolves and dogs as they had their feast. In the morning the birds arrived. Their odd outbursts of aggression can be heard even from here. I was glad to get away from it. I just wish we had gone further. _

_The wounds were horrific. Arrows sticking out of limbs, stabbings, even a few burns. Whoever survived quickly caught fever and I had to fight my own battle to keep them alive. Others, could have been better off dead. _

_I'm not sure whose side I'm on. I suppose I'm neutral but I wouldn't admit that to the King. I usually flit from side to side when he's not looking. A patient is a patient to me, I help whoever needs it. I suppose that's where I'm going wrong, after a Battle everyone needs help. _

_I made friends with a man called Edmund. We met before the Battle, he had had a cold and came to me for a remedy. _

_I was sitting next to my camp fire, a cauldron hanging over the flickering flames with an invisible hand stirring the contents with a spoon. I was crushing herbs in a mortar and generally tuning out my surroundings. _

_"Achooo!" I was snapped out of my hypnotic state at the explosive noise, then chuckled as I saw the man on the other side of the fire. His face was contorted in a grimace, as if he was about to sneeze again. I waited until his face relaxed then said, "Bless you,"_

_"Thanks,"_

_"You're welcome," I had said and asked him what he wanted, even though I could guess. _

_"I was wondering - that is - I want - oh hell!" He sneezed again, "I-just-wondered-if-you-could-give-me-a-cure-for-t his-effing-cold!"_

_"Colds can't be cured. You just have to wait it out," His face told me he didn't want to hear that answer, "Why don't you tell me your symptoms and I'll see if I can relieve them,"_

_He sighed in relief and, when I gestured, sat down next to the fire. He frowned at the stirring-on-it's-own-accord spoon but when he blinked the spoon had stopped. I saw him shrug it off as a side effect of his cold. For that I was grateful, even though magic is allowed I don't want the King to find out about mine. I don't want to think about what he would make me do if he knew, not that I would let him make me do anything. It's just best that everyone believe's I'm a simple physician. _

_"It took me a while to find your camp," he said, "I didn't realise you were so far out,"_

_"Yes. I like to be away from the noise," I lied. Actually, I use a lot of magic in my potions so being in the main camp would have been dangerous. I thought it better to change the subject before he started to pry. "So, let me guess, blocked nose, sore throat, bad headache and general fed up feeling?"_

_The man had frowned at my sudden change of subject but he answered my question, "Aye, all of them mate,"_

_Nodding, I added the crushed herbs to the cauldron and started to stir it with my own hand. I studied the contents for a second before reaching for another herb beside me and chucking that in. "Thyme goes very well with lamb stew," _

_I'm not entirely sure why I said that but I got a laugh from the man. I smiled at him and lifted an eyebrow questionally. Still laughing the man said, "Here was me thinking you were making some sort of medical remedy and you were just making your dinner," _

_I felt my face break into a big grin. Laughing with him, I asked if he would stay to share said dinner. He accepted and introduced himself as Edmund. _

_From then on we were friends, when he was not training we talked and laughed, he helped me with errands and sometimes just walked with me as we travels to the Battle site. But as we got closer to it, he became quieter and quieter. I understood what he was thinking, he was in the infantry and would most likely be in the first wave into battle. _

_On the day of the Battle, the infantry charged over the field. Only fifty made it back._

_Edmund was not among them._

* * *

**AN: A bit gloomy, I admit. I need happiness somewhere! I was planning on outlining Wars and epidemics but I think I'll pop in a traveling chapter in at some point. Maybe when America was discovered and people started to colonise there. Merlin could go have a look at the "New World"... hum. Now my brain is ticking, I must write! Forward... MARCH!**

**I found this and wanted to share it with you, it's about the aftermath of the Battle of Brunanburh:**

**Then the dark Raven with horned beak,  
and livid Toad, the Eagle and Kite,  
the Hound and Wolf in mottled hue,  
were long refreshed by these delicacies.  
In this land no greater war was ever waged  
nor did such a slaughter ever surpass that one.**

**- Henry of Huntingdon**

**I know... ew. If only we had stopped there, eh?**

**Ok - I'm finished - you can be happy now! Please review! :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin! **


	3. 800 years

London

23rd August 1305

_I saw a man hanged, drawn and quartered today. He was found guilty of treason. I thought he had a reasonable defense - he claimed that he had done no treason since he never swore allegiance to the King. Although, he has done many other things that would have resulted in a hanging anyway. _

_It all started in the north, the man had killed an English Constable and Sheriff. He started a revolt and laid seige to Dundee Castle. After that he had joined forces with other northern nobles and defeated the English at Stirling. Rumours say many of the English were drowned rather than killed by weapons. But then again, rumours say this man was supposed to be 7 feet tall with muscles as big as a horse. I didn't see the resemblance. Nor, I believe, he will be able to shoot lightning from his arse. _

_You know, that got me thinking. I'm happy the lightning I can bring down doesn't come out of my arse. It'll be painful._

_Had to stop writing for a minute there. I can only imagine what Gwaine would say about that! _

Merlin paused, holding his quill above the parchment slightly. He really did come up with the weirdest things.

He glanced about him now and took in the stinky bodies and spilling ale of the tavern. Men's shouts and the bar maids giggling surrounded to a point of suffocation. Merlin grimaced.

He chucked the last bit of ale down his throat and dropped a few coins on the table. Picking up the parchment, quill and ink, he made his way to the stairs, weaving in and out of drunken brawls and flirtatious whores. When he got to the stairs he sighed in relief. He bounced up the steps and down the corridor to his room.

Flinging the door open, he let the writing material float in the air while he shut and then locked the door. The noise of the tavern below were cut off as he shut it. He cast a few extra spells to reinforce the locks and turn away any potential intruders.

The floating writing material followed him to the bed and he sat down. Holding his hands up the parchment fell into one hand and the quill in another. The ink remained in the air as he continued to write.

_Well, after Stirling there was Falkirk. He led his men and burnt everything so the English and Welsh troops couldn't eat. Then something went wrong and the Scottish nobles left. After that the Scots were easily defeated. The English victory was celebrated here. They really hate him. _

_He was captured on the 3rd of this month and brought to London. _

_The square had erupted with "boo"'s and jeer's as he was dragged in, tied to the back of a cart. Rotton vegetables were thrown at him. Considerably more rotten then the vegetables thrown at me in Camelot while I was in the stocks. Then he was hauled up to the gallows and hanged. Just before suffocating, he was let down and tied to a table. There, they disemboweled him and finally chopped off his head. His head now decorates London Bridge, while his limbs and torso were sent to Scotland to ward off any more revolts. _

_I don't think it will last very long. This man was very influential in Scotland. He'll be hailed as a hero and have his name in many poems and legends. That reminds me - his name is William Wallace. _

_In other news, the war with the French is still going on. For a while I thought this would be Albion's greatest need - with the Scots threatening from the north and the French in the South. William Wallace supposedly went to the French to seek their help. But with his death today, I doubt nothing more will come of it. At least not for another few years._

_This King of England is not the best for this Kingdom, his taxes are too high and he rules more with his brute strength then his brain or heart. He's a bigger clotpole then even Arthur was. No, far worse then Arthur. Actually, I admit, Arthur was a brilliant King. _

_My magic still keeps me young. But I've needed to start using aging spells. Since I've stopped traveling the country, I've been around the same people and they are noticing that I'm not aging. I've found a way to age gradually almost exactly like everyone else. But it's hard work. Maybe it's time I moved again. _

_My mind keeps wandering back to the execution today. What if it had gone further? And it had been Albion's greatest need? Surely I wouldn't have to wait too long for Arthur to return. Right?_

_Well, he always was a prat. Probably make me wait for two thousand years or more. Can't help thinking this is revenge for that rat in his stew. _

_But I'm just mopping. It's been about eight hundred years since Arthur died. I've seen every inch of this Kingdom and the others on this Island - twice! I could always make it "thrice". Perhaps when the War with France is over I'll cross the Channel. I'll take advantage of any time of peace to explore, I've got all the time in the world for it! I always wanted to go to Rome. Thinking about it now, I don't know why I just went straight away. _

_No, I do know. I might have all the time in the world but it still moves at the same pace. I'm sure it was only yesterday I was telling a prat - "That's enough,"_

_"You've had your fun, my friend."_

* * *

**AN: Yay! William Wallace! Did you notice the line I took from Braveheart? Tried to put humour in this time. Did it work? (No, it didn't, Jess) Ah. I'm no good at jokes! **

**Reviews will be encouraging! I've been watching the stats for this story and over a hundred people have read it but I've only got 3 followers (one's a fav.). Why is that? Could you review to tell me if you hated/liked it? Just so I can improve! Thanks! **


	4. Black Death

Carmarthen

29th April 1348

_I've decided that I love this town. It's bustling with activity just like Camelot was. Even if the Black Death hadn't taken the town I still would have settled here. My skill as a physician can only go so far but I've experimented with my magic and think I'm close to a cure. A lot of other physicians have tried to find the cause of the sickness. I think it has something to do with hygiene but I'm nowhere near discovering the truth. Then again, maybe I am._

_I swear every year that passes I'm becoming more and more like Gaius. Sometimes I catch myself raising one of my eyebrow's to my hairline._

_I found another magic book today. It's been about fifty years since the last one I saw. It was being sold by a pedlar. She was selling different odds and ends and I had stopped to see if she had a Kettle to sell (Mine being about a hundred years old and getting holes in the bottom)._

_So I asked her about it and she said she thought she had one, "Hang on there. I'm sure I had one around here somewhere..." She had trailed off as she stuck her hand in her pack and starting shifting things about. There was pots, horse shoes, books, mortars & pestles and the odd spoon. A particular book got my attention, it was covered in runes. The Old Religion runes. I fought to keep myself from whipping my hand out and grabbing it. Instead I inquired offhandedly, "That's an interesting book, where did you get it?" In hindsight, I don't think I was completely convincing with my act. But she didn't seem to notice._

_"Oh that... it's just something I picked up on my travels. Completely useless, can't understand a word of it! Not that I can read anyway!" She laughed at her own joke. "Do ya want it?"_

_I pretended to ponder this a minute before nodding, "How much?"_

_She didn't answer straight away, she was still digging in her pack. Then - "A ha!" she brandished a kettle over her head in triumphant. "This and the book will cost... " We deliberated the cost for a while. She was trying to sell the kettle for way too much. I had to threaten to take my money elsewhere before she relented. When I was in Camelot I would argue prices at the Market but over the years I picked up a few things. Like the price of a damn kettle!_

_I have to admit though, I did cheat her a bit with the book. I felt slightly guilty but when she under priced the book I didn't correct her. Yes, I've definitely picked up a few things over the years._

_I was just _

"Help!"

Merlin looked up startled as a man came running into the tavern entrance. His eyes were wide and he looked about frantically. Merlin half-stood up and said, "What is it, sir?"

The man gaze focused on him. "Help!" he said again.

Merlin moved towards him with no hesitation, "I'll help you,"

* * *

_A man came running into the tavern where I'm staying and shouted for help. I - being me as usual - stood up and offered my help. I told him I was a physician as we ran out. He had this wild, panicked look about him, especially in the eyes. But seemed to calm when I told him about my skills. I asked what was wrong but he didn't say much._

_It was the Black Death. His wife had got it a couple of days ago he told me and now their children had it. His home wasn't far from the tavern. As soon as I walked in I knew I couldn't do much. His wife had several large swellings on her neck and by the bumps visible under her skirts, she had more on her legs. The swellings were a rank purple colour, a couple had burst and a black liquid oozed out of it. Her skin was red hot - a fever - and her eyes shifted about like she was looking at something that wasn't there. The children were better off. Their swellings were still red, not the poisonous purple. I worked on them first. Thankfully, I always carry my medical kit. I drained the swellings (I found out this helped to a point) and wrapped the gaping wounds with bandages and poultices. The Father watched me tend to his five children and now and then would glance at his wife. But he never asked me to save her. The Black death had been on this island long enough for him to know that she was too far gone._

_Once the children were tended to, I went to his wife and offered a draft to ease the pain and help her sleep. I directed the question more to the Father really. She didn't know what I was saying. He nodded, defeated. The only thing I could do for her was make her passing peaceful and he was grateful._

_He sat with her while she slept and finally died. I didn't leave until I had helped clean her body and wrap her in a shroud._

_Once it was done, I looked over the children again and told him I would be back the following day. He had thanked me and I had left._

_If this is not Albion's greatest need, what is?_

_I swear, I will do everything I can for anyone who asks for it._

_I can't help dreading what will happen when Arthur finally does return. Surely it can't get worse than this?_

* * *

**AN: You might have noticed that these journal entries are a bit choppy. My first chapter was the way I would write normally but as I'm trying to write while in Merlin's head... It's hard... I sorta thought that Merlin is a thought wanderer so the paragraphs jump from here to there with odd instalments of anecdotes. I want you to picture Merlin sitting somewhere writing this. Maybe he would look up now and again, scratch his head, yawn, smile slightly at his odd thoughts and have a small line between his eyebrows as he frown-writes. :)**

**Anyway, thanks to Click96, LCO3, NighttohisDay, Totallynewmerlinfan2013 and Guinevere137 for favourite-ing, following or both! And everyone who reviewed, of course! **

**Speaking of, could you pleeeease review? Pretty please? Pretty please with a cherry on top?**

**Disclaimer: Wish I did but I don't own Merlin!**


	5. Bosworth

Battle of Bosworth

22nd August 1485

_Henry Tudor is going into Battle with Richard III. Don't think I'll mind much if Richard was overthrown. I'm pretty sure he killed the boy next in line to the throne, just so he could become King. His time as Lord "Protector" poisoned his mind. Or perhaps it had been poisoned long before then. _

_Not that I support Henry Tudor either. This "War of the Roses" has been going on for far to long. I just hop_

_Richard has just separated his force. The Earl of Oxford - I know for a fact - doesn't want Richard to win. Being on Richard's side though, doesn't promise much. He's head of one of the separate forces and then there's the Earl of Northumberland and the Duke of Norfolk. I'm not expecting much from them. Even if their force's are double the size of Henry's. _

_I need to sort out my supplies. I thi_

"Phycisian!"

Merlin sighed and put down the quill. "And so it begins,"

* * *

_This is moving faster than I thought. I need to_

"I need help!"

Merlin left the sentence unfinished and moved to take the wounded man from another soldier.

"Where has he been hurt?" Merlin laid the man down on a stretched bed and talked to the other soldier.

"His leg,"

Merlin cut away the man's trouser leg to reveal the ripped bleeding flesh of the man's leg. Merlin got to work quickly. He wrapped the leg up to stop bleeding and gathered the necssary herbs and poulijuices.

He knelt by the wounded a man saw the bleeding was refusing to stop. Turning his back on the soldier who had not yet left, Merlin whispered a word and his eyes glowed gold. Before they melted back to blue, the bleeding had stopped.

Merlin turned back to the other soldier and snapped, "If you're not injured go and help with the fighting!"

"He's my brother," The soldier protested, "You have -"

"I'll do what I can! If you don't want to be hung for desertion - you go back _now!"_

The soldier nodded numbly and turned to leave the tent. Before the tent flapped shut Merlin was already working hard to save the man's leg.

* * *

_I got about two minutes, _

"Physicain!"

Merlin groaned and stood back up. His whole body ached. But he quickly cast away his discomfort as the next casualty was brought in.

* * *

_Beginning to wonder at the point of trying to write this while a _battle _is going on. Every time I sat down to write a couple of notes, someone would run up to me asking for help. The life of a physician is very demanding. Well, the battle is over now. _

_Richard charged towards Henry with only his knights. They're all dead, killed by Sir William of Stanley and his Knights. __Some of Norfolk's men had fled the field, Oxford turned against the "King" and Northumberland never reacted. It all went wrong for Richard. So much for his 10,000 strong. _

_I must leave again. Henry Tudor is being crowned. _

_Crowning ceremony went well. I stayed in the shadows to watch. I was with Richard's Army as physician so not expecting any welcome. Not yet anyway. I have tried hard to stay near royalty over the years. Especially during times of War. When there isn't a war on or I really can't be bothered with petty disputes, I'm on the road. Offering my skills to anyone who needs it. Again... why am I writing this? I am the only one who will read these anyway. I suppose the need to ramble on to where my thoughts take me is the purpose of my journal. _

_If I just had a person to talk to, I wouldn't need my journal so much. Today, I no-longer exist. The legends of Arthur and his Knights have been wrote down and harboured as legend but as time passes, less and less people believe in it. Even I have been put down as Legend. I knew I should never have told my story to Geoffrey. But in the year of 1136, I really needed to talk and the fact that the man had the same name as that suspicious old man from the Camelot library made the story just fall out of my mouth. _

_Magic is still feared. Just in the last 5 years, witch hunts have begun. They're burning people, burning magic. Some people don't even have magic but they still burn them. The Druids don't think they should be around much longer. They've disappeared deeper and deeper into the woods, farther than the time of the Great Purge. If this goes on any longer, I don't think they would stay. But I must stay. At least in times of war, I still want to explore the world. I know of the trade routes going East. The "Silk Roads". I can't help wondering what amazing and _different _things are out there. I could always come back if anything happens._

_That's my thought's running away from me again. What was I suppose to be talking about? Right, the Crowning. _

_Henry Tudor insisted on being crowned as soon as possible. They found Richard's circlet in a hawthorn bush or was it found on the field? Can't remember. Anyway, Henry was crowned below an Oak tree. It was alright as far as crowning goes. I expect a lot of men will be coming to me with hang-overs in the morning. _

_I headed straight down the hill as soon as it was over. I needed to check on my patients. The rest of the physicians had stayed behind to take care of them. But they firmly told me to report my findings. I'm in my 25 year old form so they tend to boss me about as they are my "Senior". Quite funny, actually!_

_About 1500 men were injured in the fight and another 1500 are dead. We'll know the exact numbers in a few days. The dead will be buried nearby. I'm worried about what Henry plans to do with Richard's body. I don't expect he'll get a proper burial. We'll see tomorrow. _

_I must stop writing, one of my "Senior" physicians is giving me a look._

* * *

**AN: Guess what? **

**Go on, guess!**

**Alright, I'll tell you... _Travel_ chapter next! YAY! Merlin's going to - **

**Mwahahaha! I'm not saying! **

**Just thought - since I have a 130 year gap between this chapter and original next one - I would do something FUN! I do realise this entries are a bit depressing. The reviews I _have_ gotten mentioned it aswell. Guilty! So why don't you try to guess where he's going, by typing in that box down there! :D **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin!**


	6. On the Road

Paris

31st June 1551

_I arrived this morning. The city is just as dirty as any other. I shouldn't be surprised! When I went to Edinburgh all I heard was "Garde loo!". I was scared to walk down any street incase I got covered!_

_Now that I'm here, I'm not as nervous. When I stepped on that boat, I couldn't believe what I was doing. I kept looking over my shoulder like a war would break out on the slowly receding shore. Even as I crossed the country of France, I was expecting someone to say that something had happened in Britain. But no. No news has reached me yet. So, I'm starting to relax and finally getting excited. _

_I left! I left a country I thought I never would! Growing up as a farm boy, you wouldn't dare dream of seeing anything past your own fields. I thought I was lucky to see Camelot and then the surrounding country. Hell! I thought I was lucky to see the neighbouring countries like I have these past years. Within those years I finally let myself dream of seeing what was beyond the channel. I'm here, _finally_. _

_I'm back to my young self. Restraining from skipping down the streets of _Paris_. I want to see everything. I want to take in everything. I want... everything. I'm starting to sound like Arthur when he's searching for his breakfast. _

_Arthur. How long has it been...? _

_One thousand years. _

_It can't be. How can it be a thousand years and only feel like one? But no, it doesn't feel like that really. _

_No! I'm going to snap myself out of that mood. I'm in _Paris _for gods sake!_

_I've managed to find myself a room in a tavern. Tomorrow, I'm going to go see Notre Dame!_

Rome 

12th August 1560

_Rome is a beautiful city. I can just hear Arthur telling me that I'm a big girl for saying that but I couldn't care less. _

_There's an equal amount of open space and magnificent buildings. The population is enough for me to earn money through my skills. I'm slowly getting the hang of talking in Italian. Just like French, it's not that hard to learn. Although, I don't think I'll speak it all the time. It's nice just to write in my own lanuage in this journal. I'm surrounded by so much Italian all day it makes my head hurt! _

_I wish all my friends - not just the Knights, Arthur and Gwen but everyone I've met over the years - could see what I'm seeing. The legacy of the Roman Empire can still be seen in these buildings, even the ruins. _Especially_ the ruins! I can imagine what it would have looked like in the Roman's day, impressive structures and a unbelievable amount of nude statues. Actually, there's an unbelievable amount of nude statues here now. _

_I'm going to spend a few months here before moving on South. I want to have a look at Naples and then perhaps get on a ship and go to Egypt. _

_I'm getting ahead of myself. I still need to see Spain, as I went through Germany and other countries to get here. Then there's Portugal. Still want to go to Egypt. I've only seen the pyramids in Gaius's books and others I've seen since. I just know seeing them in the flesh - or stone? - would be all the more amazing. _

_I'm not going to rush though. I've still not heard of any movement in Britain towards war or any diseases. Hopefully, I shouldn't hear anything for a while. I have heard though that the last of the Tudor line is now on the throne, Elizabeth the First. A lot has happened since I left nine years ago. I drew the line when Anne Boleyn was executed, I left them and never looked back. I never liked being Henry VIII personal physician anyway. He was about ten times worse than Arthur._

_In fact, compared to Henry, Arthur was an angel. I have a funny feeling I won't be saying that once Arthur finally decides to make an appearance. _

Cairo

2nd March 1575

_I've made it. At last._

_Cairo is crowded and busy. There's markets and people. _Camels_. A kind of huge beast with an equally huge lump on their back. Then there's the noise, happy and angry noises. Like they all want to be the loudest. I'm smiling just thinking about it, I only need look up and it's there again. _

_I'm planning to go to the P_

_Perhaps I shouldn't be sitting next to a busy market place. I was sitting there just now, on my pack, scribbling away, when a camel came by. I got up to give it room... then managed to knock over an entire stall and a few baskets of fruit. Then the stall I knocked over, bumped into another. Which fell. And then that bumped into the one next to it which began to tip aswell. It kind of carried on like that until the whole row was on the ground. _

_I apologised immediately of course. Then I helped everyone pick up their goods. I don't think I've ever been so embarrassed. _

_I'm cringing at the thought of Gwaine or anyone else seeing that. How exactly do I manage to create such destruction?_

* * *

**AN: I've deliberately ignored all wars and conflicts during the time Merlin was in Europe and Egypt. Any gaps I found were no good, too small or non-existent! Really, we - as human's - can't get through just a couple of years before something happens! **

**I tried to fit it in but I really couldn't! Sorry! **

***huff* Anyway! Did you like it? Please review! :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. Just this plot. **


	7. William

Stratford-upon-Avon

23rd April 1616

_My friend, William, died today. He's been ill for a while. Neither I nor his step-son could do anything about it. If I've learnt any lessons it's that I shouldn't try to conserve life where there is none. He didn't want me to use my magic to save him. _

_Will was the first person in a long time that I was able to talk to about my magic. I remember when we met, it was in a tavern in London._

_I was sitting in a corner, sipping ale, when he stumbled over and asked if he could sit down. Then he was young and boisterous. He reminded me of Arthur, that cocky look about him. I had to bite my lip in order not to call him a "Prat". I nodded to him instead. With an unrestrained sigh he sat down heavily beside me. _

_"I'm William," he introduced himself._

_"Merlin," I answered and shook his hand. No, perhaps he reminded me of Gwaine. William tipped over slightly in his drunkenness. I grasped his jacket and righted him. William mumbled a "Thanks," then blinked rapidly, _

_"I can't get the butterflies out of my head," he stated. _

_I couldn't help it, I just laughed. William seemed to get the funny side aswell as he erupted into wild mirth. We were leaning on each other soon, trying to control ourselves. Perhaps I had too much to drink that night. My chest is heaving with unvoiced laughter at the moment. _

_As soon as we had got over that we had talked easily. The night wore on and more ale was ordered. When we finally parted ways - after of course planning to meet at the tavern tomorrow - we had almost collapsed in laughter again. Will had always had a way of speaking, like he wasn't _trying_ to make you laugh but you did anyway. He lit up any room. _

_The next night, we were considerably more sober (I was surprised he remembered to meet me). We discussed his play's - both successes and failures - and he loudly recited sonnets to the barmaid. She looked impressed but didn't accept his invitation back to his room. _

_He then went on to gallantly praise me for my ears and the "stark contrast of hair and skin". I just gave him one of my mentor's eyebrow's to that. Then we were laughing again. _

_Before long he was asking me about myself. I recited my story to him. I'm a traveling physician with full training and had stopped in town for a while. All true except I , of course, lied about my age and where I was from originally. Immediately, I knew he didn't believe me. _

_I couldn't tell him my real story. Witch hunts are still going on. For the last few years I had traveled the country, hiding the druids and helping any other magic users. They needn't to be protected. Whenever I watched someone burn - too late to help - I couldn't help the angry surge well up in my throat. They shouldn't have to die. _

_But, the more we talked, the more I realised he wasn't like everyone else. At one point, we brushed the topic of Witch Hunts and his face grimaced like he was disgusted by it. Disgusted by the fires not the magic. _

_Will kept putting tankards of ale in front of me. I kept drinking. Now, I realise he was trying to loosen my tongue, to get me to talk about my past. And it worked._

_The tavern was empty except for us and the Landlady who was popping in and out as she bustled about with dishes and clothes. She's very proud of her tavern, I thought before Will had clasped a hand on my shoulder. I turned my gaze away from the Landlady to his face. It was slightly flushed and his eye's were blood shot. I doubt I was any better. I was about to open my mouth to suggest we part ways again when he waved his hand at my to shush. Then - _

_"Tell me straight - what do they want you for?"_

_I gaped at him and frowned. "Who want's me for what-now? _

_He sighed in exasperation, "The crown or whoever you're running from! What do they want you for?"_

_My frown had deepened, then it dawned on me and I chuckled. "Me," I said simply. _

_"Aye, you!"_

_"No, you don't get it. They want me for me," I should had just stopped there. But I was glad I didn't, after much prodding and questions on his part, I told him my story. My real story. He didn't mind at all. _

_The next day, he remembered everything. I pondered telling him he had dreamt it all but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Any doubts he had about my story were thrown out the window when I showed him what a flying tankard look's like. _

_Today, I'm so glad we had met. I never thought I would tell the truth to another person. Now that he's gone, I'm a bit lost but I only have to look at his tombstone to crack a smile on my face:_

_Good Friend for Jesus sake forbeare.  
To dig the dust encloased here.  
Blese be the man that spares these stones,  
And curst be he that moves my bones._

_Trust Will to scare the living soul out of every grave robber to approach his. He always had a good sense of humour. And the amazing ability to blend it with complete seriousness. _

* * *

**AN: Does anyone else think Merlin is spending a lot of time in the tavern? ;)**

**Did everyone like this one? I know, Shakespeare's (Did you guess it was him?) death isn't exactly "happy" but I thought the anecdote was good! **

**Please review! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin! **


	8. China

**This... is another travel piece! Yay!**

**Humm... why do I love them so much? Must be something to do with that image I have in my head of Merlin wearing traditional chinese dress and one of those cone-like hats. :) It's just so... I don't know. *shrugs* Enjoy!**

* * *

Canton*

1st January 1671

_This is my third year of traveling. I've actually made it to the East where trade has been set up by sea routes with a place called China. When I say "third year" I'm not counting the other years I've spent traveling Europe! Just - three years _outside_ Europe. _

_Outside. _

_I've heard the chinese have great medicine here. I'm going to see if anyone will teach me. I will love the opportunity to learn from these people. From what I've seen so far, they're very honorable. Reminds me of the Knights, that utmost respect they show to the people above their rank. But here, everyone bows to everyone. _

_I'm thinking I'll stay here for a while before heading further East and North. I'll get to Beijing. I'll take the road though. I've had enough of those ships. The trade ship I caught a ride in, limped into port this morning. There was a storm and the mast got a crack in it. The ships are cramped, stinking, lumps of wood. The captain had offered me a place as the ship physician but I declined. I don't think I would have survived any longer - immortality or not! _

_I'm getting worried about home. It took me month's to get here and months to get back, probably. Not including the month's it would take for any news to get to me. I think I need to look for a spell to help me out. Something to warn me if anything is happening at home, then I'll only have to worry about getting home. _

_I've looked in the spell books I brought with me. I found a spell that would work. Strangely, it was in that book I cheated out of that pedlar. The under prized one, covered in runes. Starting to wonder if it wasn't chance that she _just happened_ to have it. Maybe I'm being helped? _

_That's ridiculous. I'm getting twitchy in my old age! _

Somewhere between Canton and Beijing

17th September 1673

_After staying in Canton longer then I thought, I planned to head straight to Beijing. But it seem's that won't happen. I've found someone willing to teach me Chinese Medicine! I'm glad I took the time in Canton. I can speak the language reasonably well now. My new mentor was very strict about that. He say's I have to speak it all the time and even write in the language. But I managed to convince him to let me write in English for my journal. _

_I need to get some sleep, we're starting early tomorrow. _

18th September 1673

_Hell! Learning from my mentor is harder then it was learning from Gaius. _

_We were up at dawn. He taught me about the balance of life - I could relate to that - and how to stick needles into someone. There is no way I was going to relate to that. They call it acupuncture. _

_Despite my speculations the person who was getting the treatment seemed quite relaxed. In fact, she went to sleep. To my horror. _

_I thought she had died. _

_Luckily, I was only watching today. I'm not sure if I could be able to actually stick little _sewing needles_ into someone._

_We didn't stop. The walking long distances to nearby settlements was alright but he kept talking to me - loading my head with so much information. Nevermind my legs - my _brain _is exhausted. _

_I'm going to bed. Dawn start again. _

Beijing

29th July 1681

_Ever since I finished my apprenticeship with Zhang Zhongjing** I've been deeply respected. I only need mention that I'm skilled in acupuncture and everyone trips over themselves to bow to me and offer me something. True, some have been suspicious. I am a white man after all but the suspicions don't last long. Say, after I've cured an illness or two._

_Once again, I have to mention how comfortable these clothes are. They were tailor-made to my size ages ago and I added a few spells to them. Someone gave me a traditional hat today aswell. Keeps the sun and rain out of your face. _

_Fashion change's throughout the years. I can't help missing my neckerchiefs. Had to stop wearing them as an old man. Then I left them in Inverness, of all places! Never thought to replace them. When I get home, I'm going to buy a new one. _

The Great Wall of China

15th October 1685

_It's_

_I don't know what it is. It just _is!

_The wall stretches from horizon to horizon and from where I'm sitting it could be touching the sky. I've come down off the wall to just look at it. It's immense. _

_How did they build it? _

_I keep glancing up at it as I write, I just can't believe I've gotten this far. I'm on the opposite side of the world from home. _

_I need to get back up there. They wouldn't want their new physician to go missing, would they? _

* * *

**AN:** **I researched a lot for this. I wanted to make sure I was getting everything right! Actually I put in some research for every chapter so far. It's very interesting to do. I'm actually really enjoying it! I'm one of these people that love walking about old castle and fort ruin's and learning history. **

**Note: *Canton is also known as Guangzhou. **

**** Zhang Zhonjing is actually a 1st/2nd Century physician! He's known as "one of the finest Chinese Physician's in History" (Quoted from Wikipedia). **

**If anyone noticed, Merlin has left UK when witch hunts are going on! By now he has hidden all druids and sorcerers. The innocent's... he has accepted that he can't save them all. Sad, I know, but that's how I want it! :P**

**Hope you liked! Please review! Thanks! :D**

**disclaimer: I ****_still _****don't own Merlin! *crys* **


	9. Giving up?

**Now we're trucking. We're in the 18th Century! Whoop! Planning three chapters for 20th Century and two for 19th century! Ah and one last chapter for 21st. That's my plan anyway! :)**

**Sorry, it's a short one!**

**On with the show!**

* * *

Culloden

16th April 1746

_So many people are dying. I want - no I _need - _to save them! They won't let me save them. They're all dying. Shot, stabbed, _killed! _Even the injured, my patients. Dragged out and shot. Welcomed by mass graves. _

_I can't do this anymore. I just can't. I've watched too many people die. And not enough people live. I don't want to go on anymore. What's the point? If Arthur doesn't come back now, will he ever? _

_No. I don't believe it anymore. I don't want to believe it. I give up. _

_I'm not going to try to help anymore. I'm not going to stir fate. I'm going to leave it alone. No more wars for me. No more battles. No nothing. I'm going home. _

My Cottage

12th July 1746

_Home._

_When I said I wanted to go home on the battlefield I wasn't sure where it was. Camelot? Ealdor? That little hovel I've lived in when I wasn't traveling? _

_As soon as I said I wanted to go home. I had no idea it would lead me here. _

_I found a cottage by a lake. A beautiful cottage by a beautiful lake. No, Arthur, I'm not a girl. If Arthur ever read these journals - which I doubt - he'll know exactly how soft I've gotten. And exactly how angry. _

_I shouldn't be writing this. But I need to. If these thought's stay in my head, they will poison me. _

_I'm sitting outside. The sun is setting on the lake. The water turning a dark crimson, blending into orange, then yellow, pale blue then a deep navy. Finally black. The ripples broke the colours, ripping, tearing but also healing, blending. The peaceful night air breathed in and out of the tree's on the bank. _

_I've never felt so relaxed. Not in one thousand and two hundred years. Probably not since I was a child. I've always had to be careful with my magic, it was alway's there, hanging over my head. Then when I moved to Camelot I had to be careful with my magic and protect Arthur. Once he had died, I was Court Sorcerer and had all it's responsibilities. Finally, when Camelot fell to siege, I was always moving, helping, healing, breaking. I never stopped, even when I was traveling the world. _

_Here though, finally, I've stopped moving._

_I'm just going to let fate and destiny do what they want. No point trying to change or influence it. _

_I never thought I would say that. All my life I've tried to change things. Tried to prevent events, ended up causing them. Tried to help in any way I could, but in the end it was no good. _

_Only now I realise how fast time has passed. I need to slow down. I'm hurtling towards oblivion. _

_In fact, I'm going to stop writing. Just so I can stop, watch the sun go down. _

23rd May 1798

_I can't do it anymore. _

_I need to do something. Anything!_

_I didn't realise stopping could be so boring. I don't do anything anymore. I sit at home, write in my journal. Look after my livestock, plant crops. Go to the village, come home. Been the same for forty-two years. _

_I can't get used to it. I need to move. _

Merlin chucked away the quill and gripped his hair. What was he going to do?

His eyes wandered over to window and he frowned. What had he done so far?

Then it came to him. It was obvious, really.

He would do what he had always done but he wouldn't get to involved in politics. Simple.

* * *

**AN: ... no perhaps' I'll have two chapters for 21st century... ideas. :3**

**Lapse in concentration then, sorry! **

**Anyway! What did you think about this chapter? Going back to dark, depressing-ness. Actually, it's even more depressing then first few chapters! I'm not sorry. *evil grin* It actually didn't go as I planned. I was going to mention the 1714 rebellion and talk about Bonnie Prince Charlie. But hey! When _does_ it go to plan?**

**It came to me today about what I'm going to do. I've actually got an idea for a sequel to this. It came to me while watching the end (I missed the first bit *cries*) of Merlin series 1 episode 13. I'm not saying more than that... **

**Please review!... Why do I bother typing that? Either you do or you don't! :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin! **


	10. Training

**My fingers were itching to get this up! Thanks for the reviews guys! I really appreciate it! :) Responses at bottom!**

* * *

Edinburgh

21st September 1816

_First day of medical training went well. When they introduced medical examinations last year I instantly wanted to have a go at it. The opportunity to test the knowledge I've built up over the years was too good to miss. _

_Many thing's have changed over the years, only medicine seems to be the only thing stagnant in its advance. Many of the theories and knowledge have stayed the same. Except the latest findings by Edward Jenner who realised that people who had Cowpox were immune to Small pox. I'm also going back to training to find out more about these findings. I wonder if there is a new kind of medicine we can make from this. A cure to small pox. _

_I can only imagine what kind of new developments can be made in the next hundred years. I want to be a part of it. I've made a plan: _

_Go to university as my 21-year-old self - get a qualification_

_Continue as a doctor to research new theories - grow old like everyone else - retire_

_Restart at university at 21 years old again - get a qualification_

_Continue as doctor... and so on. _

_This way I can keep up with new developments and keep myself busy. It's a place where I can keep an eye on time passing and be useful. I'm not stirring fate or influencing events. Best of both worlds, you could say._

_In theory anyway. _

_Fitting in is hard. My fellow students at the university keep asking me questions: Where am I from? Which boarding school I go to? What are my preferences in study? How many time's have I seen a dead body?..._

_Why am I here?_

_The "how" question startled me. For a second I thought that they must have found out about me. Then I realised that they were referring to the fact that we will have to watch a dissection of a dead body. They were simply curious if I had ever seen a dead body before, to know if I would faint at the sight of one. _

_The "why" question though... that was the strangest. I'm here for a number of reasons, one I've already said. There are many others however. Like: I want to learn more, I want to save lives. I want to be useful._

_Truth is, even if I had lived the first eighteen years of my life on a farm, after spending hundreds of years traveling - I don't want to be a farmer. The cottage is my home but I don't feel ready to settle into that life yet._

_Speaking of my cottage, I wonder how John is getting on with its maintainance. When I hired him, I gave him full control of the cottage. To live in, look after and most importantly maintain. I hid my journal's in plain sight. They are all in bookshelf's in one room. Every wall is crammed with them, except one. That one wall has room for at least another three hundred years worth of journals. I put an invisibility enchantment over them. So when John looks into the room, he will only see wall - not my journals._

_The medical lecture's today were just like the lesson's I got from Gauis, only with less practical work and more talking. In fact, a lot of talking. Too much actually. How are we suppose to learn like this? Or maybe it's just me, as I have already learnt most of it. The only new things seem to be the use of a microscope and I've heard that Rene Laennec has invented a "stethoscope". I want to know what that is._

_Later this week we're going to witness the dissection of a body. I know it is necessary and I won't have any problem with it, since I've seen many thing's worse than that. But I am worried about where they are getting the bodies. It is well-known that bodies are snatched from graves. _

_But I can't do anything about it. I'm not going to try. _

_At least... I'll try not to try. _

* * *

**AN: So, I was half-way through writing this and the internet cuts out. I hadn't saved it. I had to start again. *finds pillow and smashes face into it* AAARRRRGGGGGHHH! That's why it's small. **

**Weird thing is, I actually think second version is better than first! :D **

**Cat - Thanks! I take pride in my grammar! :D The plot hole's made me angry as well. Series was too rushed *shakes head*. Positive feedback is good but I do like to be criticised. I like the challenge! Seeing your review made me happy though! :)**

**Alice - The shortness of these chapter's are deliberate. I don't imagine that Merlin would sit and write a 2000 word entry. :) He also jumps from this thought to that easily so I try to put that in. The first chapter is how I like to write - very descriptive and full of info. But it's hard to put that into a journal entry. Who would bother? Your advice on jokes is good! I do try that - like in On the Road, him knocking over all the stalls! But not very good at it! Thanks for your review!**

**Again, please review! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin! **


	11. Retiring

**I'm going to stop apologising for the length. I really can't control this. I stop when I feel it's right! *shrugs***

**Enjoy! :)**

* * *

Edinburgh

1st June 1858

_Today, I turned 1300-years-old._

_Or round about that. All I know is that I was born in the 558th year in summer. The exact date is lost, as a peasant you wouldn't need to remember your birthday. You count in summers. Or winters. Depends which season you were born in. _

_I've decided that this day is my birthday as it is also my "death". I have come close to actually dying a few times (mainly in Arthur's lifetime) but I have never faked my death._

_It needs to be done. Medicine is moving on. Only this year they introduced registration for Doctors. I need to start again._

_As for my actual "death". Someone is going to walk in here when I don't come to work. See me. Bury me._

_That last bit is unnerving. I'll be underground. Alive. Underground. Not looking forward to it. _

_I haven't decided what to do once I'm young again. Which university to go to for starters. Then whether or not I want to take a year out. The "New World" over the Atlantic is yet to be explored - by me, at least! Already mass amounts of people - especially from the Highlands of Scotland - have been immigrating there. _

_I wonder if they're worried about me now. It's almost noon and my work begins at 8 o'clock. _

_I wish I didn't have to do this. I must get ready, I have to appear dead if I'm going to have any success._

4th June 1858

_I hated every second of it._

_When poor old Alex walked in, I almost gave it up! He was so upset. We've been friends since University. I hate myself for doing that to him. He was so paniced and the thing's he said. I don't even want to write them down. I'll never repeat that. He was my best friend in a long time. Except I didn't tell him about me. He knew about my magic - he found out by accident. But I never told about my age. I couldn't. I _wouldn't!

_Then there was everyone else. All my colleagues - even the people I only met once - came to my funeral. My funeral. That's so weird to write. If only I could _

_I don't know how to finish that. Could what? _

_I can't do anything about it. I just need to keep telling myself that "It'll be alright,". Even if I know it isn't! _

_I need to go home first. I need to sort out my cottage before I go anywhere. No-one here knows about my cottage so John - or John's son - will need to know I'm dead aswell. I'll pose as my son and break the news. As I'm going away again, I'll let them live there for longer. I don't know if I'll ever live there again. _

_No. I will. Eventually._

My cottage

13th September 1858

_It feels so good to be home. Even if I'm only here for a couple of days. _

_Old John had died just a couple of month's ago. His son looks after my cottage now. This is the first time we've met and I'll be more than happy to let him look after my home. _

_I'm just staying long enough to strength his - Andy's - position as my cottage's guardian, then I'll check my spells and move on._

_I've decided that I will be going to the New World after all. At least for a couple of years. Then I will return to start at university again. The new revelations made by fellow doctor's in the last fifty years should make it a challenging experience._

_Actually if medicine gets even more advanced I might have to go further back into a grammar school. _

_I hope not. My skills in science are satisfactory at the moment but if I need an actual qualification I don't know what I'll do._

_For now, anyway, I'll concentrate on my new adventure. _

_I wonder what awaits me in America?_

* * *

**AN: Before finishing this chapter, I went to find my story in the Browse section (as you do! *shakes head*) and found an absolutely a-ma-zing story about what Camelot would be like with mobile phones. It's so funny, I totally recommend it if you like a laugh! It's called Merlin Text Messages by K. A. Carlyle! (It's in my fav's!)**

**Getting back to MY story! What did you think of this one? Please review! **

**I will like to thank _everyone_ who has reviewed, followed and fav-ed my story so far! The support has been brilliant!**

**I will also like to reveal that there will be a sequel! I just _have _to continue this, I got too many idea's! I've already started to plot the sequel even though I'm nowhere near finishing this yet! **

**And... breath. **

**Have I covered everything?... Nope! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin! ;)**


	12. Doughnuts

**I might have said that there was only ****_two_**** chapters for 19th century but... no. :D**

**I couldn't leave it without going to the USA! :D**

**Enjoy!**

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New York

13th November 1858

_The liberty statue is huge. She's proud, she's tall, she's... a giant women with a torch. _

_Can't really say more than that. _

_I'm half tempted to bring her to life so she can wave. Best not. How will I be able to explain if she decide's to go for a walk? _

_Still... tempting. No! I will not._

_Shame. I can just about hear Gwaine egging me on. It's been a long time since I thought of them. Am I forgetting?_

_As I look at the approaching shore and the buildings behind it, I question myself. I mean, what have I actually done in the last one thousand and three hundred years? _

_Everything and nothing. _

_Or _anything_ and everything. I've flitted from place to place, hardly stopping for most of my years. Only recently I've began to stay in one place. I've broken the pattern by coming here. I've done so much to be proud of but then I've done so much to be ashamed of. _

_I can always start again - I've got the time - but when there's a life involved. I can't stop blaming myself. _

_It feels like my mind is stretching. Like my memory is trying to fit everything in but isn't succeeding. Perhaps I should start measuring my head! _

_We're almost at the shore. Best stop writing. _

20th November 1858

_It's official. New York is my most favourite city in the world! _

_They have_ _these bun-like things called doughnuts! They are just... amazing. _

_If Arthur ever comes back - I'm definitely making him eat one! Well... if I don't eat them first! I might just wipe out the entire city! _

_I'm going for another bag full._

Washington DC

25th April 1859

_They have doughnuts here too. I might be gaining weight. I won't tell Arthur about that._

_Washington is very white. There's the white bricked unfinished Capitol and the White House. It's as clean as it can get. Very wide and big buildings._

_That's what I've noticed about America. Everything is so _big!_ Big houses, big tree's, big roads, even big... everything. _

_I really like it here. I almost don't want to go home. But I must. I always _must. _Maybe it would be simpler if I didn't have a destiny. Then I would be able to enjoy doughnuts everyday. Like now. _

_But if I didn't have this destiny, I wouldn't be here, right? _

_Ok. My destiny led me to doughnuts - I might aswell thank it! _

_In other news, I've decided to go home in two months. I need to get back to medicine before they move on without me._

_And of course, I'll be taking the doughnut recipe back with me._

26th April 1859

_Actually, make that six months. I've just heard that there's many things to see further inland. _

_I'm going. Hope there's doughnuts._

Somewhere in Ohio

16th June 1859

_I'm not going to do this in six months. __I need to stay longer. _

_What about... three years? _

_Yep, that'll do. I've got a local to teach me how to make doughnuts. _

_I've just realised how much I talk about them. I'm not obsessed! I'm the most powerful warlock in the world, I do not get obsessed with pastry! _

_I get the impression that I'm not convincing myself about this. Perhaps I should cut down. I'm sure all this walking is stopping the doughnuts making me fat. _

_I hope Arthur never see's that sentence. I'll never hear the end of it._

_"I am _not _fat_, Mer_lin!"_

Merlin chuckled at the last line and then began to laugh loudly. Arthur was always so concerned with his weight and here he was - doing the same!

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**AN: How was that? Merlin likes doughnuts! YAY! Now, be honest, you thought it was another "I-feel-sorry-for-myself" chapter. I think the break helped him! :)**

**Technical inaccuracy: Liberty statue wasn't built until the 1880s! Thanks 96 Hubbles for pointing that out! Look at next paragraph for excuse for my laziness! :D**

**I couldn't get this any longer, as I'm running out of time. My Mum had my new baby brother today! His name is Brodie, but I haven't seen him yet because he's in the neo-natal unit (he's fine, should have him back by tomorrow!). So been spending time with Mum at hospital and couldn't write much! And then there's this HUGE Authors Note! **

**I have had one "complaint" ;) about the history content in the first few chapters (too much or confusing)! I'm not going to change it, but if you want to learn more about the events I've highlighted in my story I'll be happy to add an extra bit on the end with my References! Or... you could google it. Tell me if you want it!**

**I'm sooo excited about next chapter! _Finally _we're getting to 20th Century! Anyone guess where we're going?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin... still. Doubt it'll change.**

**Phew! See you guys next time! :D**


	13. Somme

Cardiff

3rd March 1916

_I'm being conscripted into the army! I knew going young again was a bad idea. Now look at me! I'm not going to fight. I can't do that. I don't hold the sword or pull the trigger - I look after the consequences. I will join the war effort but I need to wiggle my way into the medic tent somehow. _

1st November 1916

_That's it, I've finished my training. I'm going to war._

Battle of the Somme

5th November 1916

_The mud reaches above your knees. The smell burns your nose. The noise - the _noise! _- never stops. Just one explosion after the next. The ground shudders under your feet. Before the shudder, you hear the whine and you have one second to wonder where it's going to hit before it does. I was knocked down by the impact more than once. My knees giving out to the shockwave. I'm caked in mud. No better than anyone else in the trench. _

_I could have felt ashamed of my relatively clean clothes when I first arrived in the trenches, just a couple of day's ago. Now I look like everyone else._

_It's hard to keep back disease here. Whenever I bring a wounded solider back, I pray to whoever is listening that he doesn't get gangrene or worse. I whisper a quick spell to ward off the worst when someone isn't looking. Something to dull the pain of a missing arm or slow down the bleeding of a bullet wound. Anything to help._

_Being a stretcher-bearer means I have to go over the top with the troops. _

_It's pointless. We're all dying. Shot down before we've reached the second tangle of barbed-wire. Somehow, they always seem to miss me._

"Everyone up!" Merlin's head snapped round. It was the Officer. "UP! We're going over the top!"

Groans erupted all down the trench. They weren't reluctant groans but the kind you would hear from one of the wounded - in pain.

"UP!" The Officer screamed again. Merlin quickly put his pen into his journal and shut it. Wrapping the whole thing in cloth before stuffing it into his pack. Just in time, as the Officer walked past him, "Everyone get READY!"

Holding back the urge to trip the Officer with his magic, Merlin grabbed his helmet and rammed it on his head. Then reached over for his stretcher and propped it up against his body. He waited slightly behind the troops, wondering which one he'll be carrying back. They had organised themselves quickly, all the troops now stood at the front trench wall - ready to climb.

Slowly all movement ceased as we waited for the order. The machine gun's paused for a second as the men behind them stole a quick glance to their mates. Everyone seemed to hold their breath. Merlin was wringing his hands but stopped when he noticed. The Officer cocked his head to the side, listening.

We all heard it. The whine. The thought. The impact.

BOOM!

Merlin huffed out a breath as it landed just a few feet in front of the trenches. Thankfully he had kept his footing this time.

Glancing to the side, Merlin spotted the other stretcher-bearers lining up behind the troops. One - Alistair - caught his eye and he nodded to him. Merlin nodded back and forced his eye's back to the the front. His throat seized up and he gulped the feeling away. The un-natural stillness of the troops was un-nerving. Every fibre of Merlin's being screamed to him to run but he didn't. He waited.

"OVER THE TOP!"

The screech was sudden, almost _invading. _A few of the troops noticeably cringed before setting their limbs in motion. Their arms reached up and grabbed the top of the trench, They hauled the top half of their bodies out and swung their legs up. They stood, they ran.

The machine gun's blazed.

Merlin barely waited a second before he was at the trench wall and following them. Throwing the stretcher up first he grabbed the trench top and copied the troops movement. Too fast, he thought, as he was standing before he could question his actions.

Quickly finding his stretcher he picked it up. Straightening, he didn't notice the sudden _whine. _His legs were already running forward as he looked for the wounded. Then he noticed it.

His mouth moved to form the words he wouldn't get out. His knees locked to absorb the impact. He watched as some of the troops looked up at the sky -

BOOOOM!

Merlin was knocked backward. He hit the ground hard and a sudden pain flared in his stomache. His mind clouded in pain. But he pushed it away as he looked up.

They were gone - the troops that he was watching - they're gone!

His heart hammered in his chest. Everything had gone silent. He could see the troops stumbling about, see them screaming. But he couldn't hear them - there was just a high pitched ringing.

Merlin pushed himself up and looked for his stretcher. Finding it, he gripped it in his hands. Then looked around again. He needed to get back to the trenches. But not alone.

He spotted a solider on the ground. His mouth opened in a scream Merlin could not hear. He headed straight towards him. The air around him shifted and pulled as bullets zipped past him. Reaching the solider, Merlin collapsed to his knees and began talking, telling the solider he'd be ok and to stop panicking. Merlin tried to hold back his own panic as he realised he couldn't hear himself. Shaking his head, he concentrated on the solider.

He pulled bandages out of a pocket and tightened them around the gaping hole in the man's leg.

A hand clamped down on his shoulder and Merlin jumped. He looked up and there was Alistair, he was pointing at the stretcher and shouting something. Merlin nodded, guessing at his meaning.

Together they opened the stretcher and pulled the solider on top of it. Merlin grabbed one end while Alistair got the other. They carried the solider back to the trenches. Bullets continued to shoot past and the ground shuddered as more bombs were dropped.

Then they were at the trenches and passing down the solider. He was taken by some stretcher-bearer that had returned. Merlin half fell, half jumped back into the trench. The ringing in his ears was fading and he could just make out the shouts of the people around him.

People were already tending to the solider he had brought back so Merlin grabbed another stretcher and prepared to go up again.

"M..r...lin!" Merlin blinked and frowned. He turned to see Alistair starring at him, shock written across his face. He said something but Merlin couldn't only hear bits of it, the ringing was still fading but his hearing had not returned.

"w..t... ata?" Merlin's voice sounded muffled. Alistair's mouth dropped into an O.

Then Merlin followed his gaze. Looking down at his abdomen. It was red.

Pain spiked as soon as he looked at it. It felt like he was being ripped apart. His mouth opened in a scream and he fell back against the trench wall.

The last thing he saw was Alistair reaching out to catch him.

Then the world went black.

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**AN: What's this? A cliff-hanger? In journal entries? ;)**

**I swear, I have no idea what I'm going to write until I'm writing! **

**Views in reviews are**** welcome! :D **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin!**


	14. Base Hospital

**Sorry this wasn't up yesterday. I couldn't finish it because I had (have) the worst headache _ever. _My eyes feel like they're trying to escape my skull! But it's better now so here's the next chapter!**

**Enjoy!**

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Base Hospital

18th November 1916

_The Battle of the Somme ended today. I can't stop worrying about my fellow stretcher-bearers out there. And the troops of course. This is already the worst Battle of the war. Hundreds of thousands have been reported dead. _

_The doctors say that I'm lucky to be alive. When the bomb dropped in front of me a shell fragment embedded itself in my stomach. They're surprised I haven't caught gangrene yet. They don't say that but I can see it in their eyes when they take the bandages off to change them. Actually every man in the room with me as gotten better quicker than they thought. I wonder why?_

_Ok. I did it._

_I can't stand them being in pain. Also, the smell of the gas* was making me want to throw up. Anyway, what's the point of being skilled in healing magic if I'm not going to use it? _

_The man on one side of me is called Robert. His blond head was dirty with a grimace of pain on his face. He lost his leg when he was standing closer to the bomb than I was. Not the same bomb, he came in yesterday. He was in so much pain and the dreaded stench was already leaking out of his bandages. So, I made sure no-one was looking and cast a spell. Today - he opened his eyes and asked where breakfast was._

_It was so much like Arthur I had to stop myself from yelping. I had searched his face for any sign of my friend. But no. It wasn't him._

_I just thought that _finally _he had returned. But perhaps that's too much to ask._

_On a happy note - the nurses are really nice. They always have a smile on their faces (even if it was forced), they only dropped the smile when they were working hard to save someone leg, arm... life. _

_Whenever they walk up to me, a look of relief washed over their faces. Maybe it's because they always see me last on their shift or because I make them laugh with my antics. I don't know. But I'm glad if it's the latter. They need to relax. Working here puts a lot of strain on your shoulders. They start at six in the morning, finish at six at night. _

_One of the nurses - Jenny - likes to sit with me when she finishes her shift. She listens to me talk and adds her own comments now and again. I try to encourage her to talk more but it didn't take long for me to realise that she just wished to escape from this nightmare called nursing. She used my stories as that escape. When she sat down her shoulders would be tense, when she stood up they were relaxed. _

_I'm glad I could help. Although now more nurses have taken to talking to me when they get the chance. I think the other men are getting jealous. _

21st November 1916

_Alistair came today. He had survived the last couple of the days of the battle and had a few days off before being transferred. He decided to come to see how I was doing._

_He couldn't stop saying "sorry" for not noticing it earlier. He had thought the blood on me was just the solider's, it was only when I went to go up again that he saw it dripping from me._

_I just told him that I was surprised I hadn't noticed it. I made a couple of jokes about my stupidity (which he immediately denied) and he was smiling again. _

"What do you write in that book?"

"Huh?" Merlin looked round and saw Robert propped up on an elbow, watching him.

"That book," he said, pointing at the journal in Merlin's lap, "What do you write in it?"

Merlin stared at him for a moment before looking down at the journal and his scribbled words. "I..." What could he say? If he said it was his journal the man might start teasing and want to read it. That would be disastrous. Merlin was nearly at the end of this one and it goes all the way back to the 1870's. But prehaps' he was just reacting to the feeling that this was Arthur. Even if he had tried to convince himself that it wasn't. Robert's face shape wasn't the same, he wasn't as built up as Arthur. Actually, the only likeness was the hair. He wasn't Arthur.

Nodding to himself, Merlin decided to tell the truth and hope that he wouldn't begin to tease. "It's my journal," Then he added quickly, "I'm recording the war," Surely that would keep him from trying to look at it.

Robert frowned and looked down at the journal again. Then he said something Merlin had not expected, "Aye, I got one too,"

Merlin's eyebrow shot up in surprise, "Really?" He couldn't remember Robert ever writing anything in anything before.

Robert chuckled at his expression, "Well, it got left behind in the trenches with me leg,"

"Oh," They watched each other for a minute. Merlin had no response to that.

"What did you do then? In the trenches, I mean, what was your job?" Robert asked.

"I was - am - a stretcher-bearer," Merlin answered, he watched as Robert's face turned from one of mild curiosity to respect.

"Really?" Robert grinned, "It was thanks to a stretcher-bearer that I still have me other leg - and me life, for that matter," He continued to smile for a moment then added, "I can go back to me family now,"

"Family? You have children?" Merlin asked a smile lighting up his face.

"Aye, I have two girls and a boy. Then my wife of course," His eye's filled for such love for them that Merlin felt his heart ache. He thought of Freya, his own love. He wouldn't have that family. Even if he had settled down he would have to have seen them grow old and leave him.

"How old are the children?" Merlin asked.

Robert quite happily talked about his family for a while. Merlin lapping up everything. He understood completely about the needing to talk to someone that the nurses got from him. When Robert asked if he had family, Merlin considered for a moment before answering, "No,"

The simple answer seemed to make Robert pause but after a few more question's from Merlin he continued to talk.

They only stopped their conversation to watch another solider being wheeled in. He had shell-shock and a shot wound to the arm.

Merlin made a mental note to help him when the lights went out.

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**AN: Everyone glad he's alive? ****I actually considered killing him for a minute before I realised I would have no sequel if I did.**

**I was thinking that I could go back and edit all the chapters so are like these one's - without Merlin writing. I just had loads of ideas to pop in. Make it an easier read aswell. But probably not do that until I'm finished this story first. I'll do it in the couple of day's before sequel! (Yes! I'm having a break before posting it!)**

**What did you think of this chapter then? Please review! :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin! *gasp* It _hasn't changed!_**

**:D Update of my baby brother if you're interested: he's coming home today! YAY! His lungs are fine now and he's out of neo-natal. We're gonna have a baby in the house! :D**

***Gas gangrene (nice thing to * after baby news... o.O) **


	15. The Charleston

**Sorry**,** this is late _again_! I'm getting distracted by baby brother and... *cough* I *cough* might *cough* _have-written-the-first-chapter-to-sequel_ *cough* **

**:)**

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Oxford

24th December 1926

_Being in university again is such a relief. I'm learning about the new advance's in medicine - again! I like _

"Come on! We're going to be late!"

"Hang on a minute!" Merlin shouted back, he looked down at the journal in his hands and bit his bottom lip.

"Meeeeeerrrllin!"

"Alright!" Merlin rolled his eye's. He tightened his hand on the pen and wrote -

_Need to go. Me, David and Tom are going out to a dance. The girls are meeting us there._

Merlin considered the couple of sentences for a moment before nodding. He slammed his journal shut and threw it onto his bed. Half-way to the door he turned and went back. He picked up the journal again and put it on the bookshelf. His eyes flashed gold and the journal vanished. Finally satisfied he headed to the door again.

"Merlin! If you don't hurry up, we're going without you!"

"Why can't you be patient?" Merlin had reached the top of the staircase. He looked down at the two boys, who were leaning against the hallway wall. Both of them rolled their eye's at the same time. Then frowned when Merlin chuckled.

"Merlin, you're the slowest bloke I've ever known," Tom answered. His brown hair was combed back and he was dressed in a casual brown suit.

"Yeah. You move about like an old man," his friend piped up. David was always quick to agree with Tom. He was dressed in a familiar fashion.

_If you knew, _Merlin thought. Then he pushed it away. He forced a smile and bounced down the steps. "I just need to -" He was cut short by exhausted groans. Merlin, who had just heading towards the living room, turned and lifted one eyebrow at them. "- get my coat," He finished.

The boy's expression's seemed to ask _Really?._ Merlin chuckled again and went to grab his coat.

He and the boys rented out the house together. When Merlin moved to Oxford he had been living in a hotel room and eating at cafe's. He found it hard to fit in with the "Younger" people in his class and kept to himself. He mused about when he used to talk freely with people. As time passed he realised it was getting difficult to talk with them. Views and speech change over the years and somehow Merlin had to keep up. When he went on his world travels, Britain would be one way and then when he returned after a few years it had completely changed.

David had cornered him at the end of a lecture and asked where he was staying. Merlin answered truthfully and immediately David insisted that Merlin move in with them. So it's been three months and Merlin was still here.

Thinking back now, Merlin couldn't understand why he had felt that way. Since he had moved in with David and Tom, he had been folded into the normal life of a university student. Studying, moaning, socializing - and the parties.

Tonight, it was the Christmas party at a local hall.

Grabbing his coat from the back of the sofa, Merlin walked back into the hallway with it over his arm. David and Tom were shaking their heads.

"Even when you get your coat, you take five minutes," David accused.

Merlin just laughed, walked past them and out the door. "You coming then?" He shouted over his shoulder.

* * *

The Hall was full of people. All of Merlin's friends from University were there and a lot more he didn't know. The girls - Laura, Sarah and Katie - were standing at the other side of the hall, opposite the doorway. When they spotted each other, the girls waved them over. Merlin and the two boy's walked towards them across the dance floor. A band was on a stage to the right of the front doors and a bar to the left.

David went straight to Laura, picked her up about the waist and twirled her around. Her delighted laugh filled the hall. Sarah went to Tom and they hugged briefly. Tom planting a light kiss on her forehead.

Merlin caught Katie's eye. They both nodded and edged to the side slightly. Away from the love-birds.

"It's hard to keep them apart," Merlin stated.

Katie nodded her agreement and opened her mouth as if she was going to speak but quickly shut it again.

The band started to play then, a quick beat that got many people on the dance floor in a matter of seconds. David and Laura and Tom and Sarah were among them. Merlin and Katie stayed at the edge of the dance floor. A foot apart and not meeting each other's eyes. Merlin was quite happy to stay there all night. No-one had seen him dance and if he was honest, no-one would _want _to.

When it came to dancing, Merlin was the worst in the world. He could command dragon's, bring lightning down from the sky, defeat a powerful sorceress and put up with a pratish King. But he could not - not even_ slightly _- dance!

Up until now, he had been able to stay off the dance floor.

"Merlin!" David was shouting from the other side of the Hall, "Be a Gentleman and ask Katie to dance, will you?"

Merlin blinked in surprise and glanced down at Katie. She instantly turned a beetroot red and looked down at the floor. Merlin felt guilty as he realised that there wasn't anyone to ask her to dance. Everyone else was on the dance floor or with their dates. They were the only ones alone.

"Oh - eh," Merlin stammered. What should he say? She deserved a dance partner with a bit more talent than him and he didn't think he could deal with the humiliation. Maybe, she would understand. "I can't dance,"

Katie froze, then slowly lifted her head to look into his eyes. Merlin felt his neck and cheeks go hot. Now it was his turn to look at the floor. He could feel her eyes on him and just as he was going to make up an excuse to leave, she spoke, "I can teach you,"

Merlin laughed than stopped when he saw her face, "You're serious?"

She nodded.

"Eh..."

"Come on!" She grabbed his hand and dragged him onto the dance floor. Merlin tried to back-pedal but she kept a firm hold of him. "You'll love this one. It's the Charleston!"

* * *

Later that night, Merlin stumbled into his room and shut the door behind him. He chuckled to himself now and again. Halfway across the room to the bookshelf he stopped. Looked down at his feet and attempted to do the steps Katie had shown him.

Failing dramatically, he chuckled again and took the last couple of steps to the bookshelf. His eyes flashed gold and the journal reappeared. Taking it down he went to the writing desk by the window and sat down heavily. He flipped open his journal and picked up a fountain pen. He wrote scratchedly:

_I really enjoyed tonight. I had forgotten how to have fun, I think. Centuries alone can do that to you. _

_Katie tried to teach me the Charleston. Didn't go well. I think we can safely say that I'm the worst dancer in the world. Not that I mind. Mary Queen of Scots didn't think so either. _

* * *

**AN: ...so? What did you think of that? I'll leave you to imagine how Merlin got on with the Charleston. Please review!**

**Ok, so this chapter was inspired by Just Dance! I was making a fool outta myself and had just thought "I bet Merlin can't dance..." Then I looked at the funny, dancing person on screen which had a mop of black hair and thought "Merlin... ?"**

**:O *lightbulb flashes above head* Idea! :D**

**Although, truthfully, I had a problem with it. It took me ages to write and I found my mind wandering to *cough* _sequel_ *cough*. Also, internet cut out AGAIN! Grrrrr... Thankfully, been saving regularly so didn't lose a lot!**

**I've seemed to have forgotten to thank everyone for their following/fav-ing/reviewing lately so...**

**THANKS! I really love you guys for it all! In fact, we've reached 2500 views! Not a _huge _lot when you see other stories but I'm just so happy! I love that I even got _this _amount of interest! :D Thank you so much!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. *Yawn***


	16. The Moon

London

21st July 1969

_They've done it. They've landed on the moon... and walked on it._

_Well, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin have. _

_I can't believe the human race has come this far. I mean - I thought the invention of trains and cars was extraordinary but this is an entirely different thing. This is just crazy. Beyond crazy! _

_Absolutely NUTS! _

_Why would you _want _to go up there? _

_I have to admit though, those men are the luckiest men in the world... and space. They are still up there now. We just watch it on the "TV". (Another amazing invention. I still haven't quite accepted it yet. A bit like all the other 63-year-olds I look like). I went round to David and Laura's to watch it. Tom, Sarah and Katie were there aswell. And Katie's husband. They traveled here, just so we could see it together._

_I'm lucky to still have them as friends. They still give me that look. That _why-did-you-never-marry _look. But it's no different from when I stood in the same room with Arthur and Gwen. I'm used to it. After _almost_ one thousand and five hundred years, I have to be. _

_Although, it's still a relief to get out of their company. _

_Anyway, I'm going off topic. The moon. Apollo 11 landed about eight hours ago. And the astronauts stepped out about two hours ago. _

_I've only just got back to my hotel room. There was a lot of celebrating and drinking to the event. My mind feels fuzzy. _

_How exactly did they manage it? Land on the moon?_

_Magic must have been involved! (I write, with a grin on my face). _

_In fact, magic has no effect on this new technology. I've tried, but it doesn't work. Must have something to do with the fossil fuels and electricity used. I'm going to try to figure that out. _

_But I'll do that later. For now, I'm going to bed._

22nd July 1969

_I still can't quite believe that someone has actually _landed _on the_ moon._ It can't be real, can it?_

_I wonder where the next invention will take us. There has been the odd fantasies that they'll get to mars next. _

_Hopefully I'll still be around to see that. Doubt they'll do it next year or the one after that. I give them fifty years. _

_Will the human race destroy themselves eventually? _

_I just started to think how fast this going. Too fast, perhaps. We've barely had time to get used to the television and they're going to the moon! Next they'll be thinking of portable phones. Or flying cars. _

_The scariest advancement has to be the weapons. The nuclear bomb is the worst. When I think of it now, I can still feel the earth shudder as the bomb dropped on Japan in 1945. The whole magical world felt it. We had all stopped what we were doing - the druids, sorcerers, priestesses - everyone. The fear of the one device that could destroy so much. It seeped into our beings and shook us to the core._

_For that second we had all stood together as one. Held together by the grief that swept through magic after the first shock of it passed. Even if one stood alone - miles from another - it was like me were right next to each other. I was in the middle. _

_Emrys. The Immortal. Being of Magic._

_To this day, we still don't understand _how _we had felt it. _

_But I'm starting to make the connection between technology and magic. Now that I think back, I remember feeling a kind of _tugging _in my magic when a gun was shot or bomb detonated. I never paid any attention to it at the time, I had so much to do. Even now as I sit near a TV or radio, when they're on, there's this uncomfortable feeling in my magic. Like it's being twisted and pulled in a way in shouldn't be. Although, it is barely noticeable._

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**AN: I seriously had no idea about this chapter. I couldn't decide if I was going to do the Second World War or skip it and do the 70s. The latter seemed like a good idea but I couldn't skip the war, could I? Then I was worrying about what I would write if I did do the 70s. What exactly was I suppose to do?... **

**Then I realised I was being a complete idiot and decided on this. :) I know... it's short! *shrugs***

**Is it any good? Please review!**

**Guess what?... only two chapters left. :O I know. (I have the prologue and first chapter ready-ish! :D I'm waaayyy too excited!)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin!**


	17. 9-11

**Literally, sitting here with my fingers drumming against laptop. I've just finished writing this_ and_ first chapter to sequel! I know that I was suppose to wait until tomorrow to post this but I _can't! _**

**So, here it is! Enjoy!**

* * *

11th September 2001

_It's happened again. That feeling. Magic convulsing, as thousands of lives are taken._

_This time it was planes crashing into buildings. _

_I was in a supermarket when it happened. I was holding a can of pineapples. Deciding if I wanted them or not. That seems like a waste of time now._

_I felt it coming. Like an earthquake under your feet. The split second before it destroys everything around you. _

_I barely had time to steady myself as my magic contorted and screamed. I felt them - druids, sorcerers - it was like they were standing right next to me in the aisle. Beside me as I was beside them. Supporting each other. __I was sure I could see them in the corner of my eye._

_The can slipped out of my hand. It hit the ground with a crash that echoed down the aisle. A couple of people had glanced at me but I ignored them. My mind absorbed by the feeling of lose, fear... grief. Waves of it washed over me until I felt my knees begin to buckle. I would have fallen but a had hand grabbed me. The hands supported, then lowered me to my knee's when they wouldn't hold me up. _

_I stayed there for a few minutes. The shock radiating through magic until it finally stopped. Fading away into nothing. But somehow it was still there. Like it was warning me, telling me something._

_My surroundings came into focus then. The hands grew arms that connected to shoulders, a torso, head. A worried expression on a face I did not know. He said something but I didn't hear it. I stayed there for a few more minutes. My magic still warning me - whispering about something._

_Then suddenly it was there again. The earthquake, the _ripping._ I hauled myself onto my feet. Pushed away the man's attempts to keep me from getting up. Then I ran. At first I didn't know where I was running._

_I went down one aisle, skidded around a corner. Then I came to the section where they sold TV's. The news wasn't on any of them. They all spurted out music channels and video films. I stumbled over to a TV that had someone singing on it and started to press buttons. I was looking for the BBC 1 channel. I fumbled about until the picture's appeared. _

_The picture's of planes being flown into a sky scraper. The Twin Towers._

_People around me stopped. Stared. Cried out. Screamed. More people started to change the channels. More screens filled with the images. The videos. The next plane going into the other tower. _

_The grief in my magic was too much. I collapsed. Silent tears streaming down my face. I stared at the screen, until it bleared out of focus._

_My only thought: Arthur... please come back._

_I was walking home when the next wave hit. 34 minutes after the second. I had found a bench and sat down. Too shocked to continue walking. A druid sat next to me but when I turned he wasn't there. _

_The fourth hit when I was at home. 26 minutes. By then, I was too stunned to move. I sat there and waited. Waited for what, I didn't know. _

_Of all my years on this earth, I - we - have never felt this before. It only started in 1945. _

_This new age of human destroy themselves in the most horrific ways. I can't stop that. I'm beginning to think that I shouldn't stop it. When Albion's need is at its greatest it will be when it has nearly destroyed itself not before._

_I feel angry when I watch conflicts unfold - petty disputes and full-out wars. There is no point to it, really. _

_What gave one person the right to kill so many? _

_What makes one person stand above the rest? _

_What makes _**me**_ any less then _**you**_? _

_What makes _**you**_ any less than _**me**_?_

Merlin stared down at the last two sentences. His heart thumping in his chest. He gripped the biro tighter in his hand and retraced the words "me" and "you" to make them stand out. His muscles tensed, his fist closing around the pen in a sudden rage. He resisted the urge to rip the page and sat back.

Throwing the pen aside he pushed his hands through his hair. Grabbing fistfuls and pulling. Trying to stop himself from hitting something. Eventually he gave in and stood up - knocking his chair to the ground. He glared at the mess of writings on his desk, the journal in the middle.

"Argh!" He screamed and pushed his forearm across the desk. Everything went crashing to the ground and still he was not satisfied. Pulling at his hair again he paced the room. Muttering curses and fragment's of spells. Sparks of fire escaped his palms as he spread them at his sides.

"Why aren't you here?" He yelled. "I've waited and waited! This can't go on any_ longer_!" He screamed the last word at the window. His rage taking hold of the world beyond.

Dark storm clouds haunted the sky and streaks of lightning blasted towards the earth. Rain pelted the window panes, hitting the glass so hard they could break it.

Merlin screamed and cried. His eye's narrowing to slits and brimming with tears. He couldn't hold it in any longer. He just couldn't.

* * *

It took three day's for the storm to calm and roll away. The blue sky appeared as the clouds broke. The sun peaked timidly through the wispy trails of white.

The sunlight streamed through the window, falling on the clear desk, the cluttered floor. Resting on the hole's in the wall where someone had punched it repeatedly.

The room was empty.

* * *

**AN: Yep, Merlin has finally lost it completely. **

**You might have noticed that there is no place-name for this entry. I think when 9/11 happened all the western world and many of the Eastern stood together as it unfolded. Like we were all in one place.**

**Which is what I'm trying to convey here.** **Where you are doesn't matter when you're connected by magic.**

**Please review! :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin!**


	18. 1500 years

**Final chapter! (secretly thinking "Thank f*** for that! SEQUEL!") Had to stop myself posting this with the other chapter last night. I think 3 chapters in one day would have just been pushing it! :D **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Merlin watched his feet as he walked up the road. The new road surface (new to Merlin anyway) was ugly and unforgiving, a scar in the beautiful valley it cut through. It was one thousand and five hundred years since Arthur had left this world for the next. So much had changed, so much had happened. Merlin thought of his room of journals at home and frowned. It was strange, he couldn't recall everything he had done. He remembers main events and deaths. But the little things, his everyday routine, seemed to blur into every other day. He really should read his journals but he supposed it would take another one thousand, five hundred years to get through them. He chuckled at that, he definitely had all the time in the world to do it.

His eyes shifted to the side to look at the limp grass on the roadside. Everything felt so sleepy without magic. Over the years he had noticed the decline in the static buzz of magic in the air. It had been slowly disappearing as folk believed less and less that it existed. The pollutants in the air did their bit aswell. Merlin could feel it eating away at the life of the world, slowing killing everything - especially magic. Only Merlin seemed immune to it.

He yanked his bag more comfortably around his shoulders and looked back down at his shuffling feet. His old bones ached with every step and he was already feeling the strain of walking so far. He will have to become young again soon. Merlin pulled a face at that thought. Faking his own death was always a drag. Maybe he'll just move this time. Put his cottage up for sale but buy it back as his young self. That's when having two bank accounts came in handy.

Nodding, Merlin decided that was a good idea and put away a mental note to phone the moving agencies when he got home. Home. Merlin looked up the road to see how far he had come. The last hill was in front of him and beyond it - he could picture the sight.

His home was a small cottage, overlooking a lake with grand mountains in the background. Ivy climbed one side of the cottage and wild flowers grew up unrestrained throughout the garden. An apple tree grew in one corner of the garden and a greenhouse would just be visible around the back.

The slate roof had hints of purple in the stone and would be a shade darker from the rain that had just passed. A chimney popped out of the ivy clad wall, the clay spout speckled with lichen. An identical chimney on the other end would soon be puffing with smoke as the stove was lit to cook his dinner. The cottage's walls were whitewashed and the door was a Camelot red. A brass knocker in the shape of a Dragon's head was positioned at shoulder height in the middle of it. Above the door was a small arch-like hanging and the windows had iron castings shaped in an elegant yet modest style. It was his home surrounded by mountains and a lake. His and Freya's home.

Subconsciously, Merlin quickened his pace. He wanted to get home as soon as possible.

Just then he heard a truck coming up behind him. He stepped to the side to let it pass. As it rumbled away down the road he began walking again, watching the truck as it barged it's way forward. He imagined what Arthur's face would be like if he ever saw such a machine. He was sad then.

One thousand and five hundred years. Merlin paused in his stride and looked at the Lake to his left.

The Lake of Avalon.

His lips turned down at the corners and he felt his brows come together slightly. It's been a long time.

Inwardly shaking himself, he tore his eyes away from the lake, looked back down at his feet and continued down the road.

Putting one foot in front of the other. Like he had always done.

* * *

**AN: The End... ah. I had actually written this first. Like literally - before I even wrote _one_ word for Gwen! I couldn't get it outta my head. **

**Thanks to everyone for reading this! I've noticed that the same amount of visitors have been reading this all the way through so I can only guess that it's the same people :D. Also - all my followers and fav's! Thank you ALL so much for sticking with it! You've been great! :D**

**Belatedly apologising for previous extremely depression filled chapter... sorry. It just gets my hackles up.**

**It's over!... or is it? **

**The End of Ages is the Sequel! It's up and running NOW! :D**

**Thanks again! **

**Jess :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin! Never have, never will. **


	19. References

This isn't a chapter! Just references!

No point reading this. :)

Unless, you want to...

* * *

I used the following websites to help me out:

Wikipedia! (Like... _a lot!_)

Middle Ages (That's the websites name!)

BBC Historical Ages Timeline

American History Timeline

A Brief History of Medicine by Tim Lambert

EOW: English Onstigende Wordbōc (If that's the websites name... *shrugs*)

Medical Services in the First World War

Medics - A Brief History

First World - Timeline - 1916

The Battle of The Somme

Old English Translator

* * *

I would like to thank these websites for adding to the wide world of the web and providing the information I needed in order to write this fanfiction. Without them I would have been completely lost!

So... Thanks! :D


	20. Sequel Alert!

Just in case you don't know! (I did put it at end of final chapter but this is mainly for followers!)

The Sequel has been published!

It's called The End of Ages and you'll find it at the bottom of my account profile!

I really hope you'll join me for the next one!

Please continue to read and review! :D

Thanks a bunch and a million!

Jess


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